By the time we had breakfast, packed up, got to the ferry and accross to the camping store it was late afternoon. We rode to Paluma Park in the dark and i was done by the time we arrived. Riding already forces you to be so much more consciously aware on the road but when you ride in the dark your senses are on overdrive and by the time i got there i was absolutley buggered and covered in 1000 bugs. Rob started talking to a lovely Swedish couple in the park and i felt so rude but i just wanted to go to the tent and sleep.
The next morning we had a look around the area and came accross some beautiful lagoons. The water was cool and fresh, just the way Rob likes it. I said my goodbyes and headed back to Townsville to stay with my cousin Brook for an overdue girly catch up.
We talked and talked and talked until about 2am.
My cousin from fathers side and i have always had very simular personalities and we look simular too. Same height, body size, skin and hair colour. Whilst on the visit we were mistaken for sisters.
Anyways it turns out Brooks son was diagnosed with aspergers. I knew nothing about aspergers but had previously assumed it was a disability. So i asked Brook what the traits are. As Brook described all the traits and characteristics i said to her ‘it sounds like my Dad’ she said that she agrees and thinks my Dad has aspergers. I said ‘they are all traits i have too’ and jokingly said ‘maybe i have it.’ Brook smiled and said ‘theres a high chance you do, im pretty sure ive got it.’
I smiled and brushed it aside until i went to bed. That night i googled the shit out of aspergers. I researched anything i could find until my eye lids closed themselves.
I said my final goodbyes to my amazing cousin and rode back to Rob awaiting me in Paluma. As soon as i arrived Rob took me to some lagoons that he had discovered in the morning. They had waterfalls running over them and parts Rob slid down like a child down a waterslide.
It was beautiful and romantic, hes a catch.
We went back to the tent and i told him about my stay and about aspergers. I felt emotional and unsettled and it was all i was thinking about, constantly. We left big crystal creek and rode to Wallaman falls, Australias tallest waterfall. It was a fantastic ride up the windy roads through the misty rainforest. We camped nearby and met two diving instructors, one from Liverpool and the other from Thaiwan. Also another couple Dave and April who were bravely camping with there 4 month old baby. Amazing! We didnt here a peep from the little one all night. Apparently only wakes up once for a feed and heads back to sleep.
The next day we packed up and had breakfast next to the falls before we planned our journey to the bottom. A 4km round trip, straight down and straight back up. It took us 2 hours and it was definitly worth it. Sitting on the rocks as the base of the waterfall was magical. The light mist constantly floating above us as the never remorseful water continues to fall.
We ride back to camp and and make use of the access to the cold shower whilst we have it. As it begins to spit we get back on the bikes and ride through the rain forest, past the sugar cane to Mission beach all the time im trying not to think about Aspergers.
On the way we stop in a pub in the middle of nowhere. I read a report on females with Aspergers the night before and by this time id had a few days of reading up my sleeve. I had spoken to my sister about it and she said that its easy to find similarities in things we read about without to much bother so i decided to ask Rob. ‘Please read this list of characteristics and tell me if you think i have aspergers.’ As i sat there sipping on my lemonade waiting in anticipation, wondering if it was just me who thought the characteristics seemed like an autobiography of me. He said ‘i think you have it, if you dont your high up there’
Its far from a diagnosis, but i felt a sigh of relief, i wasnt going crazy.
On the way there was a a fancy estate Hitchinbrook Harbour in Cardwell. Amazing mansions with yatchs galour. It reminded me of some of the beautiful housing estates in Dubai thats usually surrounding a golf course but in this case its surrounding a harbour.
We finally arrive in the cute little coastal town of Mission beach. We set up the tent next to the beach in a caravan park and i jump inside still reading about Aspergers whilst pumping up the sleeping mattress. I cant remember exactly what i read but it hit home hard and i felt a profound rush of emotions. Acceptance, happiness, sadness, relief, curiosity, confusion. I started to cry like a fast flowing river strangly with a smile on my face. Rob saw me and asked if i was ok?
I said ‘i really have it, i have aspergers’ Rob nodded and wrapped me in his arms.
I cried some more whilst realising the most powerful emotion i had was relief. For all the instances in my life i didnt understand, for the sensitivity of emotions i couldnt justify, for my willingness to relentlessly source out knowledge over obsessive topics, for the inappropriate or blunt things ive said or my desire to have hermit time after social events. Aspergers.
Thats not even the tip of the iceberg.
I slept heavy and well waking up to a green tea outside my tent door on a stool as Rob was already up. What a guy!
We went for a nice walk around the area in the morning and i felt light like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I have aspergers.
2souls2wheels 